As my new reality sets in, a realization creeps over me.
What was my life really like?
As the tragedy unfolds so do all of these memories.
I am putting them back together as if a puzzle I have to figure out.
Its draining, sometimes I sit here just thinking for hours.
I want nothing more than to know what is real as so many truths were actually lies.
The more I dig the more I find and that is infuriating.
Never feeling as alone as I have at this time, no matter how much people are there.
I close my eyes are the memories haunt my dreams and when they open they never fully leave.
The realization that even with justice you can never fully heal, what would the new norm even be?
No more are the holidays with my family, no vacations where all the kids play.
Our kids won’t grow up knowing the joy of going to see the cousins.
Life as we know it has been altered in a way no one could have predicted.
Im angry, I’m hurt, Im so fucking sad. Im spiraling into a reality I wish would go away!
To have lost so much for speaking the truth and wanting to do what is right.
To me that is disgusting, a family has been divided, torn apart!
All of them should be standing before the victims and apologizing for not saving them sooner.
Instead blood protects the criminal and the victims are to blame.
I am not a liar, I am not trying to hurt someone for no reason. I have all the proof. I only hope justice is done for once in this sad justice less world.