Pandemic Panic

Every day I wake up and start my morning routine. I fill the tea kettle with water and start my gas stove. I make my daughter breakfast and prepare the coffee pot. Once the tea kettle whistles I brew my coffee. I set up the computer for my daughter to start school and then I get my jacket on. Once my daughter is on her morning call I go off to the patio to catch up on Facebook, my website, and the news. I roll my blunt as I read the news and today it was a lot worse than other days.

Today I read article within article within article about the covid-19 vaccination and what they don’t know enough in my opinion. I read that there are two shots you take weeks apart and even then you need to still wear a mask. You are still at risk no matter what, even with this vaccination coming out. It may help with the bodies reaction to the symptoms but it doesn’t stop you from contracting it or carrying it.

I then read about how the dark days are ahead of us. We are already having death tolls daily that are higher than the amount of people who died in the biggest terrorist attack on American soil, 9/11. Yet it is only going to get worse. There are not enough people listening to the order to stay home or at least mask up. The other day I walked into Walmart without a mask and immediately turned around. I had forgotten my routine of taking off my sun glasses and putting on the mask and left the glasses on. I was mortified. I normally am more careful. I am nervous enough that going to my moms to open presents Christmas morning makes me nervous. It would only be my family and hers but I feel like we are not listening. I stock up on what we need but feel like there is always something I forget. Every time I go out my body mimics my fears because its all I can think about. I don’t want corona virus. I don’t want long covid. Are any of you feeling this way?

I say all this to say, we are not alone. If any of you need to talk, reach out to me. My anxiety got the best of me this morning after reading the news. It made me think my routine needs to change some. There is nothing we can do to control this aside from masking up and only going out when necessary. We haven’t gone out in a few days and when we did it was only to get what we needed and come back home. I hope that is enough. I hope we can beat this. I actually downloaded the app in hopes that others did and they do what is right and alert the app if they test positive. This will allow others to know if they came in contact and to quarantine if possible. I hope we all do our part. Every Country on this planet has done a better job than America. We need to be smart. I haven not worked since the pandemic started. I can’t find a job at a call center because there is too many people looking for jobs. I don’t know if this will ever end but we can be hopeful. Thank you everyone for listening to my rant tonight. I am a little tipsy, a lot high, and just in my feelers about this pandemic. Stay safe!!

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